12 Types of Meditation Series: Loving-kindness Meditation
Loving-Kindness is a style of meditation. It is also called “metta” meditation. This practice is known to foster love and compassion towards yourself and others. Its roots are Buddhist and it has a rich history. But, that doesn’t mean that its benefits are reserved for anyone of any culture or religion. After all, everyone can use a little more loving kindness.
In a nutshell, this style of meditation has different stages. When you practice loving-kindness meditation, you are prompted to shift your focus to different groups of people. The purpose is to garner compassion and goodwill towards each of those groups of people. Depending on your views on telekinesis, the people you are mentally showering with love are unaware of your wishes. Instead, the benefits of this practice go to the meditator- the person “sending” the love. At its best, Loving-Kindness meditation will generate a deep sense of compassion and interconnectedness for the practitioner.
In this piece, we will discuss seven key elements of loving-kindness meditation as well as seven benefits of the method. We will talk about how those elements and benefits can transform many aspects of your life, including your relationships, level of self-awareness, and overall peace of mind. The stages of this method will also be described. And, we will cover the history of loving-kindness meditation as well.
Let’s begin with a little vocabulary. “Metta” is a word in Pali. It translates to “Loving-kindness” or “benevolence.” Pali is an ancient language, like Sanskrit. Many Buddhist writings are in Pali. The earliest collection of the Buddha’s teachings is written in Pali, known as the “Pali Canon.” So, it’s fair to say that Buddhist and Pali have always been closely related.
The Buddhist countries that used Pali were Sri Lanka, Thailand, Myanmar, Cambodia, and Laos. Like Latin, Pali is not used in modern life but it is an important language for scholars. Pali is also studied by linguists because of how it influenced other languages over the centuries.
Loving-kindness meditation originated through a sect of Buddhism called Theravada Buddhism. Devotees to that form of Buddhism aim to attain nirvana or the ultimate liberation from earthly suffering. One of this sext’s main texts is the Noble Eightfold Path: right understanding, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. In addition to loving-kindness meditation, the Theravada tradition also features mindfulness meditation.
With some light shed on the practice’s background, let’s take a look at the actual mechanics of this loving-kindness meditation.
First, the practitioner would find a comfortable spot to meditate. Ideally, this place would be quiet with little chance of distraction. Once settled in, the practitioner would try to relax themselves. Focused breathing is a great way to find that initial calm of meditation. After the introduction period, the stages of the meditation would begin.
Stage 1: Self-compassion
The first person the practitioner feels love for is themselves. This is the foundation of this practice. We all tend to notice more of our shortcomings more than our strengths. We are inclined to self-doubt and negative self-talk. This first stage can help reverse those effects and cultivate love and compassion for the one’s self.
This self-love can be expressed by mentally repeating a wishful phrase such as “May I be happy.” By doing this, the practitioner can generate love for themselves. This is the first stage and a launching point for extending love to others.
Stage 2: Loved ones
After building a base of compassion for oneself, the practice extends to our closest loved ones. This group includes family and friends, people we know pretty well. These are the people we already care about deeply. Sending loving wishes to this group of people is not a foreign concept to most. Our closest people are already at the forefront of our love. So, the transition from stage 1 to stage 2 is relatively easy. Some would argue that it is much easier to feel love for others than it is to feel love for ourselves. Because of that, stage 2 might be the “easiest” of the stages.
In this stage, we visualize our family and friends. Then we silently wish them good luck, joy, and well-being. We also try to consciously “feel” love for them. This element strengthens the bonds we already have with these people. It reinforces feelings of appreciation and gratitude for those close relationships.
Stage 3: Acquaintances
This is where loving-kindness meditation starts to get a little “funky.” In stage 3, we focus on someone we know but aren’t particularly close to. The acquaintance we choose for this phase can be a co-worker, neighbor, the cashier at the grocery store, or your mail carrier. These will be new feelings. Much of the power of metta meditation comes from introducing loving feelings for people that we had never felt love towards in the past. It’s mind-altering. By extending loving-kindness to people we barely know, we cultivate loving feelings beyond our immediate circle. With the right focus, we can humanize most anybody we know by embodying their perspective in meditation. This is a more inclusive mindset for most.
Stage 4: Neutral person
Stage 4 prompts us to direct loving-kindness towards a neutral person, someone you neither feel positively nor negatively about. A challenge to this phase is identifying such a person in our lives. One of the reasons I wrote this guide is so that practitioners can anticipate the groups of people required in metta meditation, allowing them to prepare their stages before they start. Cycling through all of the people we know to find one we feel neutral towards can disrupt our meditative flow. It’s wise to know who you will pick before beginning.
Experience in this phase of the meditation can help us realize that there are no “neutral” people in the world. By considering anyone with the intention of compassion, we can feel the same love for our doorman as we do for our sibling. After all, that neutral person could have easily been born as your sibling had chance and genetics bounced differently.
Stage 5: Difficult person
Stage 5 is probably the most challenging. In this phase, we are prompted to identify a difficult person. This is someone we find challenging. It might even be someone we openly dislike. Grudges, feuds, and negative feelings towards people are toxic. Metta meditation aims to help us release the negativity we’ve been holding on to in regard to this person. This stage fosters forgiveness, leading to our personal growth.
Just as with our view on the acquaintance and the neutral person, a little compassion can transform our perspective on people we dislike as well. Chances are, the reason for your beef was a misunderstanding, one person perceived a situation differently than another. Loving-kindness meditation helps us examine the conflict with an open heart by helping us identify with our enemy. Skeptics would be surprised at how simply trying to like someone will do a lot in terms of making us actually like them.
Stage 6: All beings
The next phase could be called “goodwill to all.” Here we expand our focus to include all living beings, including animals, insects, and plants. As we stated earlier, we could have been born as any one of those other beings. There are no pre-birth options for a new life on this planet. Just as we opened our eyes as ourselves, we could have also opened our eyes for the first time as a blue jay, a rabbit, or the fifth child of a family in Uruguay. By washing away the separation between us, metta meditation nurtures a sense of interconnectedness and unity.
Stage 7: Global compassion
The final portion of metta meditation asks us to focus on extending loving-kindness to the entire universe. This means all people, all animals, all insects, all plants, and the planet itself. Here we include non-living things such as mountains and oceans. With some practice, it’s easy to see that all of these things are connected: You eat the fish that swam in this ocean and was captured near this mountain. When done right, this part can create a feeling of oneness, motivating us to make positive contributions on a global scale.
After the final stage, the practitioner can begin a slow return back from the meditation. A common way to end meditations is to include a countdown or a count-up. By moving through numbers in a countdown, we can slowly bring our awareness back to our physical body. The count will eventually become a ritual that subconsciously signals your mind to start awakening after a meditation session.
Metta meditation offers numerous benefits including:
1. Increased compassion and empathy: Because we are intentionally practicing compassion, loving-kindness meditation can help strengthen this emotion in us. Compassion can be strengthened.
2. Reduced stress and anxiety: Releasing negative emotions can help reduce stress. This helps us feel calmer and more balanced.
3. Improved emotional resilience: Loving-kindness meditation is known to help us accept our emotions and experiences. If we can accept any emotion that comes up, then we have nothing to fear. We can gain emotional confidence. This promotes stability and peace of mind.
4. Enhanced self-awareness: Metta meditation guides us to become aware of new aspects of ourselves and others. Your meditation might reveal new feelings about someone. It could also reveal new feelings you have about yourself. By cutting through the noise of our minds, loving-kindness meditation increases your awareness and opens doors to new possibilities.
5. Better relationships: Because metta meditation helps you practice compassion, your attitude towards others can be greatly improved. The practice can also help you see situations from another person’s point of view. This can lead to better relationships with others.
6. Enhanced mental health: Loving-kindness meditation has been shown to help improve your mental health. It can also help reduce the symptoms of depression.
7. Boosted immune system: Some research suggests that practicing metta meditation may have a positive impact on your immune system. This is most likely due to the reduction of stress and anxiety that loving-kindness meditation can offer.
Overall, metta meditation can contribute to a greater sense of calm, happiness, and unity with others, making it a valuable practice. It can cultivate compassion and empathy in your life. By starting with love for ourselves and expanding our focus to include all other people, we can nurture a strong feeling of interconnectedness and goodwill.
Incorporating this method into your routine can create lasting changes in how you perceive the world, from how you see challenges to how you view others. It can make you more resilient and help you develop a more peaceful mind. All of this can strengthen your ability to make positive contributions to the world around you.
May you find peace, happiness, and metta on your path.
Burak Uzun is an award-winning writer and a Certified Meditation Teacher.
Burak Uzun also co-wrote a feature film called Team Marco, which was featured in over fifty film festivals around the globe and was distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films.
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