You Can’t Expect Improvement If You Can’t Accept Change
If you can’t handle change, then you can’t expect better.
If you fear change, it could be holding back your growth and development. Your efforts might be taking two steps forward, but being too set in your ways can bring you one step back. Improvement depends not only on accepting change, but working to create it.
Progress is change.
If something is improved that means that it’s different. You can’t improve something without changing it. You can’t keep something the same and make something better at the same time. If you moved from a condo into a mansion, most people would call it an improvement. It would also be different. Your bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, closets, and neighbors would be different. Simply put, you can’t have a better home unless you’re willing to move out of your current home.
The people most resistant to change may actually opt out of living in this new mansion because they have difficulty leaving their comfort zone. Everything new lies outside of that comfort zone. Any positive addition is new, including improved skills and knowledge.
Growth comes from change. In fact, growth IS change.
Change is one of the main topics I talk about in my Health Living Class.
Six Points to Embrace Change
1. Not Despite, But Because: Change actually makes life sweeter. Life moments are beautiful BECAUSE they are impermanent. The holidays are special because they don’t last (imagine Christmas music year-round). A flower changes from bud to bloom to dry petals. What makes a blooming flower noteworthy is the fact that it is only blooming for that short period of time.
It’s a great way to remind us to stop and smell the roses (while they’re in bloom). This is also where it pays to be grateful and present. Appreciate that special time when it is here and be fully aware of it.
2. You’ve Already Been Changing: Another point I stress is that change is and has been happening this whole time, and yet, we’ve survived. Most adults have changed school teachers over a dozen times. Many people have lived in different homes. We were once small and now we are grown. There was a point in time when we could not read. There was a different video game you were playing before the one you are playing now. We have all adapted to so much change already. Remembering that past changes have been conquered is a good way to be confident about future changes.
3. Change Got You Here: Many changes are good and have been helpful. The changes you have experienced in the past have brought you to where they are now. If you are comfortable with your life the way it is, remember that many things changed in the past to make your life this way. If you didn’t accept the changes in the past, this current situation wouldn’t exist.
Let’s say that someone (a student, a child, a spouse) is resistant to giving up their routine behavior of having milk and cookies at midnight, every night. The fact is that at one point in the past, they did not eat milk and cookies at midnight. At one point in the past, this person CHANGED their behavior to add the milk and cookies into their routine. When that person ate the milk and cookies for the first time, that was an act of change. That was a new activity. The current habit that the person is resistant to breaking, was once a new, different activity. That person changed in order to add the new activity. If they could change then, they can change now.
4. Change is Unavoidable: Change is one of the eternal truths of life. Change is inevitable. Resisting change holds back progress. There’s no reason to delay this lesson.
5. Not Changing Is Weird: It would be grotesque if things didn’t change. Would we really want to live for a thousand years like Dracula? Slowing down athletically can be a downer, but playing at the same level for decades is unnatural. We get teary-eyed when we see photos of our children when they were younger. At the same time, changing the same baby’s diapers for years and years would be beyond bizarre. Sentiment aside, we don’t really want everything to stay the same. Change can be jarring, but it’s still better than the alternative.
6. Every Change Could Be Good: We can never know what will happen in the future. Change can be considered good or bad, but we will never know until it happens. So, why not assume the change will be good? We have no proof that something bad will happen. In my opinion, optimism is the best policy. Since we won’t know until it happens, it makes sense to expect it to be good. It’s healthier. It’s a better way to live. All you gain from assuming that something bad is around the corner is anxiety and stress. Yes, change will happen but there’s no reason to believe that it will be negative.
By redefining change as necessary for improvement, we can accomplish two things. The first is to relieve some of the anxiety surrounding life changes. Good change is change too. The second is to empower us to command change at our will. A better life is created through orchestrating purposeful, wanted changes.
Although it might seem harmless, being too comfortable where you are impedes progress. By wanting to keep everything the same, routine-dependent people, are unknowingly sabotaging their own gains. The six points in this article can serve as a logical springboard to accepting and embracing change. When you are willing to part ways with the status quo, you can boldly strive towards your full potential.
Burak Uzun is an award-winning writer and instructor. He has received thousands of hours of training and hands-on experience in guiding individuals with social and emotional challenges. He also co-wrote a feature film called Team Marco, which was featured in over fifty film festivals around the globe and was distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films.
Please feel free to reach out to Burak here.
Learn more about SOCA LLC and Burak’s classes here.