Can Money Buy Happiness? That’s Up To You.
There are three basic reasons people want to be rich.
To buy and enjoy more things
To feel secure
To eliminate their problems
Let’s break them down…
We want to be rich so we can have and enjoy more things
We’ve been told that greed is bad, a Deadly Sin. But, in actuality, wanting more is the noblest reason to want to be rich. Sure, some of it has to do with buying designer brands to impress strangers. But, wanting more also includes more travel, more books, more time with family, more toys to expand the mind, and more nutritious food. In this case, the greed for more money can actually produce more life. The trick is in recognizing that the label on the breast of your shirt doesn’t necessarily add to life enjoyment.
2) We want to be rich so we can feel secure
This is supposed to be the noblest reason to want wealth, to make sure our families are alright, regardless of what the future holds. But, as any zen practitioner will tell you, requiring security is a game you can’t win. Alan Watts compares the search for security to being tossed off a cliff along with a big boulder and holding on to the falling boulder for security. The simple fact is that there is no security. We are all going to die. The worst will definitely happen, which makes you wonder if death is actually the worst thing that can happen.
Security also implies the ability to keep things the same for a long time. This is also a fantasy. Change is as unavoidable as death and taxes. Everything changes. Everything is impermanent. No amount of money can prevent you from dying, your children from aging, jobs becoming obsolete, or the stock market from crashing from time to time.
Sure, a billionaire can eat caviar every day of their life, but their life will not go on forever, nor will the availability of caviar.
3) We want to be able to remove all of our problems
When people play the lottery, they fantasize about everything being great. Don’t want to wake up to get your kid ready for school? Hire someone to get your kid ready in the morning or hire a private teacher so that nobody needs to wake up early. There’s also the thought that, if your child has enough money, they won’t necessarily need school or work or anything else.
If a billionaire’s dog keeps relieving itself on the carpet, the billionaire can keep replacing the carpet, hire a dog trainer or even buy a couple of extra homes to avoid the dog and its mess.
The challenge with this approach is that, in order for this plan to work constantly, you need to have an incredible amount of money and problems that can be solved with money. If your teenager acts rude or moody, you could hire a coach or charm school teacher of some kind but, we all know that rich teenagers are no less trouble than middle-class teenagers. Do you remember Paris Hilton’s tabloid spree twenty years ago?
Q: So, can money buy happiness?
A: It can if you think it can. It’s all between the ears.
When it comes to money or any other earthly thing, the filter of your mind is what makes it good or bad. This is true for the rich and poor alike. You could have a lot and feel it’s not enough or you can have very little and feel blessed. We are not machines. There is no amount of favorable situations that will trigger a button in you that makes you happy. You can have an amazing life but, if you don’t believe it to be amazing, you can be miserable.
Billionaires and lottery winners are not immune to this fact. A person could have $3 billion dollars but not fee satisfied unless they have $5 billion dollars. In this case, this person would have lived an unsatisfied life even though they had $3 billion dollars.
A billionaire could buy their child a champion racehorse but cannot completely prevent the possibility of their child falling from the horse. If the billionaire decides to focus on the lack of security for their child over the fact that they were able to provide their child with an amazing gift, then you would have someone give their child a beautiful horse and yet still not feel happy about the arrangement.
As I have written many times, happiness is a matter of attitude and perception. Money by itself cannot change someone’s mental focus.
So, what have we discovered here? You too can live like a billionaire or, at least, how you think a billionaire lives.
How can we get more things like a billionaire?
Regardless of how many things you have, you cannot enjoy anything unless you appreciate it. You could own a million-dollar yacht but, if you don’t think it’s great, it may not be great at all. In fact, if you buy a new necklace, store it away, and forget about it, for your mind and your life, you don’t own that necklace. Your debit card could register you having purchased it, but if you don’t KNOW you own it, you practically don’t own it at all.
So, how can non-billionaires enjoy more things? By appreciating more things. If you want the feeling of owning a red shirt, appreciate the red shirt in your closet. If you want to enjoy beauty, appreciate the beauty around you. Enjoyment has nothing to do with who holds the title of the thing being enjoyed. Swim off of the boat, fish off the boat, enjoy the boat - any boat. You don’t need to own a boat to enjoy a boat. Maybe all you have to do is arrange a little time on the water.
How can we feel secure like a billionaire?
That’s easy. You already are as secure as a billionaire. You and the billionaire are both going to grow old and die. Security is temporary. Even a billionaire can only extend something’s lifespan a few years but not forever.
How can we eliminate all of our problems like a billionaire?
Detachment. When it comes to problems, it’s not the actual issue but our reaction to the issue that’s the challenge. We all have some problems in our lives. Why don’t my problems bother you? Because you are not emotionally and mentally “attached” to my problems. You are only attached to yours. How did you become unattached to my problems? By deciding that you are not going to invest your emotions in my problems.
Guess what? You can do this with your problems too. There is no rule saying that you have to feel upset when something potentially upsetting happens. Just as you decided not to let your emotions change because of my problems, you can also decide to not let your emotions change because of your problems.
Not getting emotionally upset because of problems is one of the reasons you wanted to be rich in the first place. If you can master the process of acceptance and detachment along with using meditation and mindfulness to soothe your mind, you can have the same carefree living experience as a billionaire.
Now that you’re already living like a rich person, you can donate your lottery money to charity.
Here are a few I support myself:
See you on the yacht.
Burak Uzun is an award-winning writer and instructor. He has received thousands of hours of training and hands-on experience in guiding individuals with social and emotional challenges. He also co-wrote a feature film called Team Marco, which was featured in over fifty film festivals around the globe and was distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films.
Please feel free to reach out to Burak here.
Learn more about SOCA LLC and Burak’s classes here.