Meditation and Mindfulness Practices Must Be Forever

I have been studying zen, mindfulness, Buddhism, Taoism, meditation, affirmations and gratitude for ten years. You would think that, by now, these philosophies would be embedded in my life. I should be as unshakable as an old, zen master. This is not the case.

It is true that I have changed a lot because of my personal growth journey. I believe that I am the happiest I have ever been. I used to get upset more times in a week than I now do in a month. I feel like I have more control over my life than ever before. I am infinitely more patient with my children than I would have been without mindfulness. I am simultaneously happier in every moment and more optimistic about my future. A few months ago, a friend of mine even asked me if I “ever get upset.” In the words of Neville Goddard, I had let go of the old man and become a new man, in a way. While these studies have made a big difference in my life, my lessons are not finished, and I am coming to realize that they might never be finished.

The fact that I still do not have a degree from the School of Perpetual Peace has been more apparent recently. My life has been a good amount busier. I have “a lot going on.” The vast majority of these new things are positive, in fact, wonderful. The problem is that even wonderful things can squeeze our schedules to cause stress. In my case, these new things did cause me to feel tense at times. An increase in activity adds more to our days, creating the need to rush. Rushing is not necessarily peaceful.

When wonderful things come into our lives, we might have the tendency to worry about losing them. This also happened. I found myself attaching my happiness to external things for the first time in a while. All of a sudden, my mood depended on something happening or not happening. Once again, I was at the mercy of the other 8 billion people on the planet.

I caught myself reacting to real-time situations in a different way too. Traffic and the driving styles of others became an issue again. I found myself counting the items in the shopping cart ahead of me at the supermarket, and judging the competency and speed of the cashier. I was testy towards my family, even in the midst of my good fortune. In short, I was losing my zen.

Why did this happen? Is it my own shortcomings that keep me from maintaining my peaceful state in the midst of everything? Maybe, I don’t have the genetic makeup. Maybe, I am not intelligent enough. Maybe, I am not strong enough. These are all possible. Nobody is perfect. At the same time, nowhere in any philosophical teaching, from Jesus to Buddha to Desmond Tutu, is a test mentioned. Mindfulness is not different. Mindfulness does not have a prerequisite. It is for anyone and I am definitely anyone. Therefore, I can’t blame my god-given faults.

There’s something else at play here. I think Sunday church services might offer some insight. The fact that Sunday service is traditional gives us a clue because, from what I hear, Sundays occur every week. Church services are meant to be attended once a week, every week, forever. This leads us to the important question: How does consistency and repetition factor in our personal growth? Why is the regularity of our mental and spiritual practices important?

My own personal experience and the existence of so many daily rituals involving focused attention, meditation and gratitude have convinced me that mindfulness is not a lesson, but a lifestyle. The long-term commitment is what makes it a practice. When the commitment dissolves, so does the practice. Mindful living must be maintained.

Additionally, the principals of zen can be complex and nuanced. Mindfulness is often taught through analogy, through story and through active participation. Some eastern riddles can be pondered for hours. It’s not uncommon for it to take a while before you “get it.” I know it did for me. In most cases, lessons about gratitude, non-attachment and optimism need to be learned and relearned many times. Sure, there are stories about people having “aha” moments and completely changing their lives in an instant. None of those stories are about me.

For me, consistent repetition of core principals, over a long period of time, is what has made a difference.

When life distracts me from my practices, I lose focus, just like everyone else. It turns out that even a strong foothold on mental and emotional management can be shaken loose if the dosages wane. That’s exactly what had happened to me. I felt myself too busy to complete my usual rituals. The need to get things done became my excuse for unhealthy thinking patterns. Meditation sessions took a backseat. Priority was placed on immediate results.

Thoughts of the future can be exciting, but thoughts of the future are exactly what mindfulness is not. If we anticipate something significant coming to us, this something draws our attention. It’s hard to stay in the moment when there’s so much excitement down the road. Ironically, the anticipated event could be positive or negative. We are as likely to lose our presence if we are eager for future fun as we are if we are dreading a future pain. Even if our future focus is positive, living in the future is not living in the moment.

Then there’s the chattering of my “Monkey Mind.” When things change and when there is more to lose, the primitive part of our brain is on overdrive. One of the most effective mindfulness reminders is to simply remember that the Monkey Mind exists and that most stress and anxiety is the result of our mind playing tricks on us. Without my usual directives, I was swept up in the currents of my internal stress storm.

In short, a busier than usual schedule led to my neglect of my usual mindfulness routines and ways of thinking, for a bit. This immediately manifested heightened stress and a few snippy words towards individuals with my surname. It also reinforced my appreciation for the practice that is mindfulness. I am now more confident than ever that mindfulness delivers life-changing, (borderline) therapeutic results. And, I am even more committed to the small, daily actions that ground me to my true, centered self. I will never stray again. Neither should you.

Burak Uzun is an award-winning writer and instructor. He has received thousands of hours of training and hands-on experience in guiding individuals with social and emotional challenges. He also co-wrote a feature film called Team Marco, which was featured in over fifty film festivals around the globe and was distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films.

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