Put Down That Robe! You Don’t Have To Be A Monk.

I seriously doubt that anyone is reading this piece in a war-torn country. I would be surprised if my work is appreciated in a prison. I would also bet that, if you’re in a position in your life to be reading a mindfulness blog right now, you probably have life’s basics in order - food, water, shelter, and safety. I believe that almost all of my readers (and most modern students of eastern philosophies) have the luxury to make choices in their life, reflect on their thoughts and feelings, and learn things that don’t have to do with basic survival. In short, my readers have “got it going on,” at least in terms of the global state of humanity.

My readers are educated. They have assets. They drive cars. They have access to 1,000 television channels. They have multiple computers in their home. They get to eat takeout often.

The problem with having a mindfulness practice in the midst of our abundance is that we tend to think that the abundance is too distracting. There are Mindfulness retreats, where people leave it all behind in order to clear their minds. And, of course, there’s the image of the meditating, zen monk.

Oh, to be able to live a monk’s life for a while so we can really zen out and find peace.

Although monks are the masters of all things zen, I can argue that your footing on that same quest isn’t too bad either. Finding bliss as a monk has its advantages. But, finding bliss from where you are sitting, has its advantages too.

Monks have quiet. We have a lot of ways to feel good.

Aspects of modern life can definitely be a distraction from peace and quiet. But, many things in modern life can be used as focal points in your quest for happiness.

Sure, monks get to meditate more because they don’t have to spend time doing things like walking their kids to the school bus stop.

But, monks don’t GET TO walk their kids to the bus stop either. When fully enjoyed, a walk with your child to the bus stop can be a beautiful experience, an experience that can be used as a springboard in your mindfulness practice.

Here’s how it can be done.

The next time you are doing something similar to walking your child to the bus stop, try to be mindful. Really appreciate that you are alive and that your child is alive. Appreciate the fact that your child is able to attend a safe and productive school. Take a mental snapshot of your child’s face. Try to capture them smiling or laughing. If you laugh with your child on the way to the bus stop, try to focus on that as well. Do what you can to embed those little aspects of love/gratitude/wonder into your memory. What’s most important is that you FEEL the feelings that go with those moments. Feel those feelings to the point where you can remember them and recreate them later.

The next step would be to remember those moments along with their attached feelings during your meditation. If you can visualize the experience in enough detail when meditating, you will be able to feel the same feelings as you did the first time. Once you can clearly feel the feeling, place less focus on the memory of the experience and focus on the feeling alone. Stay on that feeling. Enjoy it. Become more aware of that feeling.

If that positive emotion can be chiseled out and isolated to a clear degree, you will be able to recreate the feeling whenever you want its benefits.

There are three great times to bring up that positive feeling you are nurturing:

When meditating:

Once relaxed, you can sense that positive feeling as if it were in your heart. This can be done with each breath. You can feel the feeling in your heart every time you inhale. This would be an ideal focal point when meditating to synch the heart and mind.

When doing a Body Scan meditation, you can visualize that feeling as being in a liquid. Then slowly visualize that liquid moving up the body, piece by piece, giving the sensation of being immersed in the positive feeling.   

Upon waking up in the morning:

I often write about the fact that we wake up worrying. As soon as we put our feet down on the carpet, we click through lists in our minds. We get anxious about having to do this or that today. This can be overwhelming and certainly not a peaceful ideal. If you can develop the habit of focusing on your positive feeling as soon as you wake up, it could help dissolve your early morning jitters.

Randomly but frequently throughout the day:

Being in a positive state has many advantages. It is often when we are at our best. If you feel good, you will act good. If you act good, more people will like you and want to help you. Feeling positive also leads us to take more action or try something new. If you feel good, you are more confident in giving it a try. If you can develop the habit of recreating your positive feeling all day long, in theory, you can feel good all day long.

We have the advantage of having had many experiences that produced blissful or, at least, loving feelings. Once that feeling is identified, it can be nurtured. With some practice, one can meditate (think about) those experiences until they feel the same blissful feeling they had when they initially had the experience.

Then, if you can connect with that same feeling in the future, you can feel the blissful feeling without the aid of the happy memory. Monks have a lot less of those kinds of experiences. So, before you buy plane tickets to Asia, capture all of the bliss from the things around you.

Burak Uzun is an award-winning writer and instructor. He has received thousands of hours of training and hands-on experience in guiding individuals with social and emotional challenges. He also co-wrote a feature film called Team Marco, which was featured in over fifty film festivals around the globe and was distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films.

Please feel free to reach out to Burak here.

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